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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29877753">cupid's queue.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/kissingporco/pseuds/kissingporco'>kissingporco</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>AOT MANGA &amp; ANIME SPOILERS, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Mostly third person, NOT an x reader - Freeform, Other, POV Reiner Braun, Panic Attacks, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, Suicide Notes, enemies to friends with benefits to enemies, mental breakdowns, porco and reiner hate eachother alot, porcos reaction to marcel's death, pre &amp; post paradis mission</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 02:41:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>904</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29877753</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/kissingporco/pseuds/kissingporco</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Although he hated the kid, Porco had faith in Reiner, of course, it was only to bring his brother back. Marcel was a leader, the oldest of the group bar Zeke, Porco looked up to his older brother - wanting to live the 13 years with him instead of watching him slowly waste his time away, uselessly fighting.<br/>Oh, boy did that faith fade.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Marcel Galliard | Berwick/Porco Galliard, Reiner Braun &amp; Porco Galliard</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. PROLOGUE</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hello :) these are some of the songs from the playlist I made for cupid's queue!<br/>--Sometimes (Backwood) - gigi<br/>--Bubble gum - Clairo<br/>--I make sparks - Novo Amor<br/>the link to the whole playlist; (end notes)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>With a dropped jaw, buggy eyes, and sweaty palms - Porco’s hot, salty head shot up from his warm pillow in a heart-pounding state of emergency. After a second of massively intense panic where he zoomed into brain-rushing, adrenaline-gushing overdrive, it just suddenly just dawned on him…<br/>
It was all just a wicked dream.<br/>
The boy’s eyes went dark, a strict and fronting pain shot through his mouth as he stared at his door - piercing through his tongue with his canines. A painful sort of silence erupted through the room, Porco’s eyes filling up with tears...again. For the third time this week, he had woken up from that very nightmare...<br/>
...it was Wednesday.<br/>
Porco’s tongue jittered inside his mouth, his teeth losing grip of it as his jaw fell open - he didn't feel like himself and much less felt sane. The blood pounded in his ears, heart thudding in his chest. His vision disfigured as if he were looking through a fish-eye lens. His door no longer took its original shape, it was more like...a puddle of mush.</p>
<p>There was always a tenseness to Porco’s muscles that made him more like a mannequin on a soft mattress than a boy of flesh and bone. He had always wanted so much to melt into the soft foam, wrapped in the rough-feeling material, and drift away...somewhere nicer. Yet his brain was a violent whirl of stupidity, trying to organize the chaos in his life. It sought to discover a way to control the fickleness of people, to accept and please them so that his encounters were softer, less draining. Of course, the task was pointless, Porco’s life was far too dull for another person to even think about giving him the time of day.<br/>
It was always Marcel...<br/>
...his brother.<br/>
Porco didn’t know if he envied his brother, or if he was immensely proud of him, it was just too hard to comprehend his own feelings. He was only a kid. Immature. Unknowledgeable. He hadn't even found himself yet; ever since his brother and the rest of the kids left for the Paradis operation, he had just stopped trying.</p>
<p>He looked to his left, noticing the shards of glass trailing underneath his bed frame - his night terrors were getting worse and worse. Despite his days in Marley being better than anything he could have imagined on that cursed island, he had the craving...of adventure; an escape; freedom. Yet, that wasn't the only thing on his mind all the time...</p>
<p>...he had to stop writing those damn letters…</p>
<p>“...it’s so fucking addicting.”</p>
<p>Feeling the firmness of the mattress under his head again, Porco’s let out a deep sigh - his skin dried with a salty residue. Tears still escaped from his ducts, rarely but - still there. He felt a sudden numbness rush through his body, trying to move to the side….</p><hr/>
<p>
  <em>I love the calm between the storms, but without a real sense that the last storm has passed, I'm just not sure I can relax how I need to. So next time you feel those dark clouds getting between you and the sun, how can we enjoy the rain together, hand in hand, surviving together with those hugs that we shared every day...they were true miracles.</em>
</p><hr/>
<p>“S-shit.”</p>
<p>Reiner’s body shot up at an instant, hearing the crashing echo through the hallway and into his room. He would always find himself indulging in self-pity, thinking he didn't deserve the hell he received from his peers. He’s just a kid, right? Still the same dumb, stupid… fuck-up....of a kid. Pity...he deserved pity, from everyone. Especially…</p>
<p>“Can you shut the fuck up, Porco?”</p>
<p>Those familiar words, coming out of his mouth once again - how could he expect the best from the kid if he wouldn’t even try and give him the time of day? Reiner would always think on the fact that Porco deserved nothing from him, what did he ever receive from the boy that wasn’t negative points or arguments? They didn't get along, and that was final. Reiner hated Porco - and Porco hated Reiner too.  Yet, Reiner couldn't help but tear up every time he heard the choking; the wailing; the fear-filled cries coming from Porco’s room.</p>
<p>“Give him a rest, will ya?”  His door shot open, the handle ramming into the plastered wall - shutting Reiner up. The boy stood at his doorfront, eyes looking bloodshot and hands shaking intensely - what was with all the damn panic today? </p>
<p>Colt turned around, not wanting to say another word to Reiner - nor hear a word come from him. His knees almost buckled under his weight, as he turned the corner and headed towards Porco’s room. </p>
<p>“Could’a closed the damn door…” The taller blonde shuffled to the side-end of his bed, feeling his cold feet touch the colder floor. Pushing himself up and off of the bed, walking over to the door and grabbing the handle, Reiner noticed the slight crater in the wall. “Colt, you fuck’n idiot.” </p>
<p>The knock of a softer entrance caught his attention, stepping forward just enough to peak out unnoticed. Reiner wore a confused look, eyebrows knitted together and jaw clenched, why was everyone so hateful towards him?</p>
<p>“I’m coming in Pock, don’t worry. It’s just Colt and I.”</p>
<p>Maybe that was it. The soft tone, the sensible language, unphased, no stress. Everything Reiner didn't have, and everything Porco wanted.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. CHAPTER 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>................................................</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>https://open.spotify.com/playlist/326QnC4Xh1HqZ6Su3lmXYD?si=YHn5j3GUQOiPdM-nqsrR8Q</p></blockquote></div></div>
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